Sometimes……

Sometimes I get so mad I can feel the blood in my body getting hot. Sometimes I have visions of myself hurting people. Sometimes I feel like after the wall that I have punched is destroyed. I need to break something alive. But then I relax and come back to myself. As if a demon has come out my body. When I’m mad I forget who I love and I forget who I care about. I’m more afraid for people than I am for myself. When I mad I can black out and not remember a thing it makes me afraid I can see the darkness from both sides of my vision take over and I slowly lose all senses. I wake up crying and afraid. I wake up afraid of what I have just done. I wish anger wasn’t something I could feel but it is and it’s what’s haunting me. Sometimes I feel as if I have two sides of me, and sometimes I wish the people I love didn’t have to deal with me. But I’m at war with myself everyday and not everyone knows this, Until they see it for themselves.